


Forwarded

by gunslingaaahhh



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-03
Updated: 2011-05-03
Packaged: 2017-10-24 23:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunslingaaahhh/pseuds/gunslingaaahhh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny is scandalized, makes some realizations, wants to shoot someone... the usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forwarded

The thing of it was, he hadn't realized how much of a-- what was he, exactly? A prude? A frigid spinster woman of some kind? He didn't fucking know, but the fact of the matter was, he hadn't realized how much of one he _was_ until he started in full-time as Steve McGarrett's partner.

It had just been Kono at first, forwarding him silly emails her friends sent her; they were the chain ones, with hundreds of people on the list. He'd wrinkle his nose at them and hit 'delete,' emailing Kono short notes about modes of decorum and that using the task force email for something like that was unprofessional.

She'd just laugh and send him another one, usually more silly and absurd than the one before.

It _was_ sort of silly to get mad; the emails were usually cute little videos of kittens rolling around on the floor, or babies laughing, or some little kid saying or doing something hilarious. It's just that they clogged up his inbox and unlike _some_ people, he used the task force email for _work related things_ , not frivolities.

When Steve started doing it, he began to long for the days of cute kitten videos.

"Didja get my email, Danno?" Steve would ask as he passed by the open door of Danny's office, a carefully composed expression on his face. Danny would shoot him a look before opening his browser and checking his email, only to find what Steve had sent him and squawking with indignation before loudly and resolutely hitting 'delete.' He didn't honor Steve with a reply email.

Steve's emails were always gross things, although obviously _he_ didn't think they were gross. His emails were videos of the random shit soldiers got up to in their camps when they were bored (downright _hazing_ was what it was, thank you very much), or those eating competitions that never failed to make Danny gag, or of Jackass-esque pranks gone awry and resulted in spectacular vomiting. Danny was a sympathy vomiter, always had been, and so those were particularly painful, he couldn't even look at his screen when he deleted them, peering through his fingers and scowling in Steve's direction.

Sometimes Steve sent him pictures, and Danny was sure those were worse. A picture offered no context, especially when it was Steve sending it to him; just snapshots of moments in time, usually horrifically _disgusting_ moments in time. There'd been one of a guy running a marathon and shitting himself, mid-stride, and another of a kid projectile vomiting all over his sister's birthday cake, and the worst by far: a rather large woman having sex with a horse.

When the picture finished loading, Danny unleashed a shriek of horror and propelled himself back from his desk so hard he fell out of his chair. Steve and Kono had stood in the doorway of his office, laughing like idiots and barely holding each other up, pointing at a spluttering, righteously offended Danny; they didn't even have the common decency to _help him up._

"You guys think this is fucking _hilarious_ , oh yeah, this whole 'lets see who can gross Danny out the most' thing. Mmhm, a couple of _real winners_ , that's what you two are, a couple of regular fucking _comedians_ , yup," he'd spat, giving his computer screen the side-eye as he'd deleted the offending image.

"C'mon Danno, it's not that bad, " Steve managed in between his hiccups of laughter. "We're just having fun."

"No!" Danny snapped, standing now and pointing the Finger of Wrath. "No, _having fun_ was when Kono was sending me innocent little cat videos and baby laughing videos and 'kids say the darnedest things' videos, not this-- this--" and he just waves his arms, brows so furrowed they touch in the middle.

"Wait, what exactly are you sending him?" Kono asked, eyebrow quirked. Steve turned and stared at her, a wicked smile slowly forming on his lips.

"I'll forward them to you."

"Um... you know what? I think I'm good with that, actually," Kono said, eyes darting over and catching the look of mortification on Danny's face. "I'm getting the distinct feeling that I _truly_ , truly do not want to know."

"Aww, c'mon, they aren't that bad!"

"You sent me a picture of a _very large_ woman being _violated_ by a _horse!_ " Danny shouted, his voice reaching an octave he wasn't aware he could touch. Steve threw his head back and laughed; Kono blanched, the image forming in her mind against her wishes.

"You are just... oh my God, Boss, you are _bent_ ," she muttered, a hand at her throat. She shook her head and shuddered before retreating to her office. "And for the record, if you email me anything like that, I'm deleting them without opening them."

"He doesn't give them headers or subject lines or whatever," Danny interjected before Steve could open his mouth. "They always just say 'no subject' at the top so you'd have no fucking idea what you're getting yourself into until you open it."

"I'll kick them to 'spam' then," she says, triumphantly.

"Nope, don't do that," Steve said, a tone of authority in his voice. "What if it's something important? Like related to a case?"

"... since when do you ever email us anything work related?" Danny asked, hands planted on his hips. Steve opened his mouth to reply, faltered, then shrugged. Yeah, the likelihood of him using task force email for work was slim to zilch.

"Whatever, where's your sense of fun, Danno?"

"My sense of _fun?_ I don't know, _Steven_ , at this point it's probably shriveled up and _died_ because when it comes to you, I'm more concerned about _staying in one_ piece than I am about having fun."

Shrugging again, Steve turned on his heel and went back to his office. Danny remained standing, looking at his computer distrustfully. At least Chin wasn't in on any of this; that would've been the last straw, truly.

~*~

The email nonsense died down before disappearing completely for weeks; there was case after case and all of them were so burned out by the end, it's a miracle they hadn't killed themselves or each other.

It wasn't until the first 'we're-not-leaving-the-office-today-under-any-circumstances-because-there-are-mountains-of-paperwork-to-do' day in two months that Danny notices an email from Steve sitting in his inbox. It's time-stamped as being sent the night before, and without even considering it, Danny opens the email. There is a video embedded, and it starts playing unbidden.

The sounds of lustful panting and over-exaggerated moaning fills Danny's office, because the sound is always on, he never remembers to mute his speakers, and he's blushing furiously as he tries to stop the video and delete the message.

"... Danny, you do realize that our computer activity is monitored, right?" Chin offered, coming to stand just inside the doorway to Danny's office, tone slightly amused. Danny's head snapped up, eyes huge with shock and rage and consternation.

"Oh. My. God. Are you-- Jesus _fuck_ , Chin, really?! Shit, _shit-shit-shit_ , does Steve know? Oh my _God_ , we're so fucked--"

"Relax, brah, I'm just kidding," Chin said, chuckling and shaking his head a little. "The only thing they monitor is whether or not all the electricity gets shut off at the end of the night. But really, you probably shouldn't watch porn on the governor's dime."

"I wasn't! It was Steve, fucking-- Chin, this man is certifiably bonkers, he really is ok, I thought he'd forgotten about this."

"About what?"

"About sending me these... ok he sent me a picture of a fat chick getting fucked by a horse, alright, and of people puking -- it was like a puke _remix_ \-- and I wanted to _die_ because if there is one thing I cannot deal with, it's puke."

"He _emails_ that stuff to you?!" and Chin looks legitimately shocked, eyebrows almost all the way up his forehead. "Wow, then it really _is_ a good thing no one is monitoring our internet or anything, you guys would be _so_ fucked."

"Tell me about it. And this, this is the first one in _weeks_ , ok, even Kono hasn't sent me any kitten videos in three weeks."

Rubbing at his jaw thoughtfully, Chin shrugs before leaving the office. "You could always retaliate, you know, find something to send back to him." This last he tosses over his shoulder before heading over to the surface table to dive into some sort of tech craziness.

Lower lip caught between his teeth, Danny takes the time to consider the option before shaking his head 'no.' That would just be stooping to McGarrett's level, and the guy is already way too much like a fourteen year old boy for Danny's liking as it is; retaliating would only encourage him.

As it is, Steve does his level best to goad Danny, dropping hints that he's got a whole arsenal of nasty shit saved on his laptop at home that he can easily send to him.

"Are you _kidding_ me? Are you _really_ telling me that you've spent real, _actual time_ finding this shit on the internet?"

"Where else would I find it?"

Danny slaps his forehead with his hand before dragging it slowly down his face. Steve looks happy as a pig in shit, not caring what these little hunts online say about his real character as a person.

"That's just sick, ok, even for you. Do you _really mean_ to tell me that you opened Google or something and typed in 'girl getting fucked by a horse'? Can you really stand there and tell me in all honesty, that you have done that?" His hands are planted on his hips again, and his head is cocked to the side, staring up at Steve like he's some sort of giant man-child-thing from another planet.

Steve, for his part, at least finds it within himself to look at least a _little_ embarrassed. He looks down at his feet and shuffles from side to side a little, ears pinking at the tips.

"Some of my Navy buddies send me shit sometimes," he mumbles under his breath, eyes darting up to look at Danny a little sheepishly. "Not all of it is stuff I've found myself."

"Well, now at least I have confirmation that the whole lot of you are fucking _cracked_ ," Danny says, throwing his hands up. "Just... just stop, ok? I don't need you sending me rude photos and porn that plays on it's own and--"

" _Porn?!_ What porn?" Steve interrupts, Aneurysm face magically appearing in full force.

"... _really?_ Steven, the porn you sent me _last night,_ that I found in my inbox _this morning_. Poor innocent me just trying to open my email like a _normal person_ , and a video automatically starts playing and it's like the _Playboy mansion_ took over my office."

Steve is silent and still, staring at Danny like he's got ten heads. Danny watches him, one eyebrow quirked, waiting. Steve slowly shakes his head, frowning.

"No, no way, I know I didn't send you porn... especially not porn on auto-play. Are you sure it said it was from me?"

"Auto-play... ? And _yes_ , I'd think I'd recognize your email address, thank you."

"Huh."

"... Steven."

"Hmm?"

"Was someone else supposed to be the recipient of that porn?"

"Uh..." Steve trails off, looking a little panicked. He backs up, ass bumping into the glass wall of his office. "M-maybe? I honestly don't... um." And in his stealthiest ninja move yet, Steve is suddenly on the other side of that glass, frantically pulling the blinds so that Danny can no longer see him.

"Somebody's _busted_ ," Chin says off-handedly from the surface table, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips. Danny turns to him, considering, before grinning and strolling over, throwing an arm around Chin's back.

"I need you to do a thing for me, my friend."

"Does this thing involve hacking into Steve's email? Because while I know that's what you're gonna ask, I don't actually have to do that. You can probably sign in as him."

"Problem: don't know his password."

"Solution," Chin says, grinning, "this is Steve we're talking about; it shouldn't be that hard to figure out."

~*~

As it would turn out, Steve's password for his work email is something ridiculously easy -- his mother's birthday -- and Danny has the feeling his other password, should he have one, is either his father's birthday or his parents' anniversary. Something about that makes Danny's heart ache.

Regardless, he scrolls through Steve's contacts, trying to see if there was anyone else he could've confused emails with. As it would turn out, there is absolutely no one he could've confused, and Danny mulls over that for a while. He's easily scandalized, ok, this much everyone knows; it isn't his fault his Ma did a _damn good_ job of raising him to be a fine, upstanding gentleman. People who aren't _cracked_ are _supposed_ to be offended when lewd videos and pictures find themselves in a person's inbox.

And anyway, while porn at work was probably the _epitome_ of unprofessional, Danny was confused as to why Steve would freak out about it. It was completely obvious that Danny had been the intended target, and while he could look at porn on his _own_ , thank you very much, it wasn't like it was _weird_ porn. It wasn't like it'd been a _video_ of the large woman being violated by the horse, or something equally damaging.

Frowning, Danny decided that maybe Steve was trying to tell him something, just in his own lunk-headed, idiotic way. And if that was the case, then uh, what? Because Danny wasn't really into that, into guys, into _Steve_. Sure, he wasn't above appreciating a guy who was in shape or had done well in life or had a decent haircut, but it wasn't like he'd ever been interested in _sleeping_ with any of those guys. If he was, he certainly wouldn't have sent them porn, least of all straight porn. That thought set Danny's mind at ease, for what it was worth, and he put the issue out of his mind.

When he started getting the porn on a regular business, he decided he needed to reassess his thoughts on Steve. It wasn't so much that porn was getting weirder, it wasn't; it was, however, getting progressively more... _gay_... and more specific. The videos had titles -- of course they did, Jesus fuck -- and the titles were pretty graphic in describing what exactly was happening in the videos. Danny didn't even need to watch any of them to know what was going to happen. He was, however, getting really sick of seeing them, and eventually added Steve's task force email to his 'spam' settings.

~*~

"Danny, I emailed you some case notes the other night, did you not get them?" Steve is asking him, about two weeks later.

"Case notes?"

"Yeah, I'd sent that coded message we found to Catherine, and her guys were finally able to crack it. I just emailed it because it was faster than printing it out and showing you here."

"Nope, can't say I saw those."

"You don't seem too bothered by that," Steve says, frowning. "Isn't that kind of irresponsible?"

"No, my friend, _irresponsible_ is when _you_ send me _porn_ nonstop for two weeks, to the point where I've had to put you on my 'spam'  list so I don't have to deal with it."

Steve gapes at him, eyebrows lost in his hairline somewhere. The expression is comical, and if Danny weren't so confused by it, he'd probably be laughing.

"You-- Danny, _please_ , I am telling you the truth, I'm _not emailing you porn_ ," Steve says pleadingly, Earnest face in the game now.

"Ok, fine, if it's not you, who the fuck is it? And why is it coming through as _your_ email address--"  Danny stops abruptly, eyes going wide. His mouth clamps shut and he puts up a hand when Steve tries to say something. He makes a negative gesture with his hand and stomps off to his office, slamming the door behind him. Steve remains where he is, standing the middle of the bullpen, brain still trying to process whats going on.

Danny has an email open and is typing furiously, a tight frown firmly in place on his lips. He sits back and reviews the message, scanning it to make sure he's getting his point across:

 _Hey! I know what you're doing, and you better give it a rest. I'm sick to death of this, and if Steve has to think about it anymore, his head is going to explode. Stop it before I just shoot you._

It's short and too the point, so he hits 'send' and leans back in his chair, feeling a little triumphant and hopeful that the porn thing will stop.

It doesn't; in fact, it would seem it's only getting worse. Danny wants nothing more than to scream and throw things.

Eventually he stalks off to Kono's office, closing the door behind him and standing in front of her desk, arms folded across his chest.

"Danny, what's up?"

"Did I not email you and ask you to stop?"

"Uh," Kono starts, brow furrowing in confusion. "You emailed me something about shooting someone, but I assumed it was sposed to go to Steve, so I forwarded it to him."

"You--" he starts before throwing his hands up and wringing them in the air. He sighs heavily before continuing. "You have no idea what that email was about?"

"Aside from wanting to shoot someone? Nope."

"So it isn't you logging into Steve's email and sending me porn."

"What?!" Kono shrieks, eyes huge and a gigantic smile forming on her lips. "For real, someone is doing that?! Oh, man, that is _brilliant_ \--" she cuts off when she sees the expression on Danny's face, biting at her lips in an effort to not start laughing.

"Oh, please, like it isn't funny."

"I don't see the humor in receiving vulgar video clips in my inbox every day."

"Danny, clearly someone is working really hard to get you and Steve to discuss... something... that's been going on with you guys for months now. Steve isn't, uh, how can I put this--"

"He's an idiot," Danny fills in dismissively, gesturing for her to continue.

"Yeah, ok he's an idiot, he wouldn't have come up with an idea like this on his own. That and I doubt he'd do something so forward... one video, one time I can see, but weeks worth of them? That's out of control. He'd have changed tactics by now."

"Maybe... I know it isn't Chin, he'd _never_ \--"

"I don't doubt Chin looks at porn, but you're right, he'd never do something that would involve spamming you with porn videos. He's got _way_ more tact than that."

"So what, then?"

"... what _what?_ "

"What do I do about this?" Danny asks, arms waving around in an effort to reference everything that's been happening.

"Maybe do what this person wants, and have a sit-down with Steve."

"And say what to him? If he... has feelings for me, _like that_... first of all, the fact that he even has feelings _period_ is a miracle, ok, you can't even deny that one. If he has feelings, he certainly isn't going to discuss them with me; he hasn't yet, when it comes to other stuff, he isn't going to now about this."

"I dunno, I don't think you're giving him enough credit."

"Ok, ok, fine, I'll talk to him."

~*~

"Danno! Hey, uh, I was just about to--"

"Save it, we need to talk," Danny says, standing outside Steve's front door,  a case of Longboards in one hand and bag of take-out in the other. He shoulders his way in, making a beeline for the kitchen and stashing the beer in the fridge. Steve follows him closely, a nervous little pinch to his features.

"What, um, what did we need to talk about?"

"It would appear," Danny begins, taking a swig of his beer and clearing his throat, "that someone is trying to tell us something with this not-so-subtle porn thing."

"Some... one?"

"If it was you, you'd have switched to something else by now, since the videos aren't working," he says, waving away whatever Steve was going to say. "You're weird like that. No, someone is playing with us, I think."

"By using my email?"

"No offense, babe, but your passwords aren't exactly rocket science to figure out."

"You-- you _hacked_ my email?!" Steve shouts, incredulous, throwing his arms up. "Why would you do that?!"

"First, I didn't _hack_ anything; you may think you're super mysterious, but you really aren't. Your password was easy to figure out, and two, it was to see if the first video had in fact been a fluke. No one else in your contacts has anywhere near the same email as the one I have for work, except for Kono and Chin, and since it wasn't _them_ you'd be sending porn to, that leaves me."

"... ok, fine, yes I sent you that first one, you happy? I was a little drunk and it was... I enjoyed it and I felt like sharing," Steve says, voice trailing off towards the end.

"That's... oddly sweet of you. Regardless, you seem to be innocent of the charges following, that being sending me multiple videos for days and days. So, Kono and I decided that maybe there is something we need to talk about and this person is pushing us to do it."

Steve is quiet, thinking. They are in the living room, on opposite ends of the couch. Steve has got his legs folded beneath him, and that combined with his pajama-ed self, makes him look far younger than he actually is.

"You aren't going to drop this until you get to the bottom of it, either, are you?" he asks quietly, picking at invisible lint on his pajama pants.

"You know me so well, babe."

"Fine," Steve says, huffing a breath. "I do, sort of, um... it's not a _gay_ thing, it's more of a bro thing, if that makes any sense. Not that there's anything _wrong_ with gay, that's just not what it is. I like girls, I like _sex_ with girls, I just..." he trails off, face heating up as he blushes.

Danny waits, regarding him silently. Any time Steve needs to talk about how he feels about something, it's like pulling teeth; poor guy has been so conditioned against being emotional and having feelings it's like he's forgotten what they even _are_.

"I think sex with you would be good, too," he finally says, voice barely above a whisper. He is looking anywhere but at Danny now, and quite frankly, seems to be plotting ways to escape that involve being absorbed into the couch.

When Danny continues to be silent, Steve's face slowly begins to crumple, and Danny fidgets, trying to figure out what he should be saying. Hell, there's a _million_ things he could say, and none of them would be good or kind enough to wipe that look off Steve's face. Really, as much of a hard-ass BAMF as he tries to be, Steve is soft as a marshmellow inside. He constantly tries to find ways to show is team that he cares about them without actually saying it, because he doesn't actually know _how_.

"Steve..." Danny finally says, leaning forward to put his hand on Steve's knee. Steve recoils back like he's been burned, eyes flicking up to Danny's face before looking at the floor again.

"It's stupid, I can't even believe I said that, I'm sorry."

"No, no it isn't stupid, stop it," Danny says, voice a touch scolding. He scoots over so he's more in Steve's space bubble, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think I understand what you're trying to say, anyways, don't worry."

When Steve lifts his eyes to meet Danny's, the shorter of the two feels an odd sort of swelling in his chest, and part of him wants to find all the people that were heartless enough to reject this man, to throw away his attempts at love.

"What am I saying then?" Steve asks, voice cracking, eyes wet.

"I think... I think you're saying that you... you love me, but... it's too hard for you to _actually_ say it out loud. I think you're saying that it'd be easier for you to show me... physically... and sex is the way to do that."

In an instant Steve is wrapped around Danny completely, clutching at him like he's drowning and Danny is the physical embodiment of oxygen. He almost can't breathe, Steve's arms are wrapped around his ribs to right. He rubs at Steve's back, feeling the way the other man's muscles tremble.

"I just really like you a lot and we're friends and we work together and I'm scared I'm gonna ruin it and you won't wanna be with Five-O anymore," Steve says in a rush, hot against Danny's neck. "I'm scared you'll hate me and wanna leave."

"Ok, that's stupid for a variety of reasons; Grace lives here, even if I _did_ really hate you, I'd never leave Hawaii so long as she lives here. If anything, I'd transfer back to HPD. And also, what do you think you're going to ruin? If I didn't care about you at least a little, I wouldn't be here, would I, on your couch and drinking your beer?"

"You brought that beer."

"You know what I mean, babe."

Rather than reply, Steve just burrows his face closer against Danny's neck and huffs a heavy sigh.

"You're such a goof, you know that? A huge, squishy, so not terrifying at all _goof_. Who snuggles like he was once an octopus in another life, might I add."

That draws a small laugh from Steve, and then it's ok, there aren't any serious tears or sadness or waffling.

~*~

The following day, Chin arrives to find Steve and Danny standing outside Kono's office, pounding on her door and yelling for her to let them in. She's got her blinds drawn, hiding the inside of her office from view.

"Guys, that shit is glass, remember? It's gonna shatter if you keep pounding on it like that."

"Chin! If you had anything to do with this, I swear--" Steve starts, eyes flashing and hand raised, fingers curled into a fist.

"Whoa, what? I didn't do anything, the fuck?" Chin says, jumping back and putting his hands up. "What are you even talking about?"

"The porn thing, remember the porn thing?" Danny asks, face beet red and veins standing out on his forehead and his neck. "Kono was all 'I dunno what you're talking about, Danny, it wasn't meeeee,'" he says, voice jumping to be an obnoxious falsetto. "The fuck it _wasn't_ ," he roars then, pounding the door again.

"She was doing it the whole time," Steve mutters, a whine tinging his voice. "The entire time, she was doing it and made it out to be someone else. The fuck, huh? The fuck."

Chin only holds his hands up, palms out, and goes to his own office to hide. The instant message application he has is blinking; it's from Kono. Sighing heavily, Chin opens the message and sees that Kono has been messaging him for the last ten minutes or so. His fingers click across the keys as he responds.

K: _Cuz, you've got to help me! They're crazy!_

 __C _: You shoulda thought of that before you decided to play match-maker._

 __K _: What if they break the glass?!  
_  
 _C_ : _You know they won't; if I were you, I'd be plotting all the ways to apologize for stringing them along like this._

 __K _: I was just trying to help =(_

 __C _: I'd leave that part out._

 __K _: Can you at least call them off for a few? I've got to pee so bad!_

 __C _: Again, you should've thought of that._

Chin sits back from his computer and just smiles, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair to enjoy the rest of the show.

-FIN-  



End file.
